August 25, 2011

This entry can potentially be the last entry for this blog

It's been two weeks since my last post but it feels like a million years have passed since then.

I guess that's the effect of the holiday.

Here's the bomb. After much thought (okay, not so much... five minutes of thought... in the middle of the night... [blind morning, as the Indonesian phrase goes] for the past couple of days...), I've decided to discontinue this blog.

Not blogging, just this blog.

I don't feel joy like I used to when I post entries to this blog. Suffice to say has been the longest blog I've ever held. Almost two years.

I also feel like I've changed a lot. People change. Not completely, but some aspects do change. I feel it in me. I used to hate cooking to the point of not knowing where things are in my own kitchen. Now I cook everyday and I don't feel burdened by it. (Well it's either cook or starve..)

I'm also in college now, stepping into my second year in just a couple of weeks. This blog is a disarray of entries, perfectly showing my messy - yet incredible - high school (and first year of college) moments.

I just feel like it's time.

This blog will always be a part of me and I won't delete it. I guess I won't blog for some time... my next blog must definitely have some sense and a recurring theme. It may be on a different platform. Wordpress, maybe? Or back to livejournal? I don't know.

Regarding recent events in my life...

Holiday has been going on for almost a month but I haven't felt much of it up until this week. Orientation thing - been busy. And after that's over, I still have some committee things to do.

I love doing the committee things - designing stamps, cover for the proposals, the banners...

But I've decided to take a break and submerge myself into the holiday completely for just a few days (starting today, actually... okay... after I send out the revised stamp design...) - not long, just until the end of this week.

By submerging myself completely into the holidays I mean lazing around being completely and absolutely unproductive at home without the guilt. I've been lazing around (I confess) but I feel guilty nearly all the time and I always do some designs at night. Even managed to slip one last night (or tonight, since I haven't slept) before I began to read Alice Academy manga from volume 17 until 24... online.

My biological clock is a mess. And because of that I spend a lot of time in the middle of the night, thinking things that should be thought - things that make me sad - things that I've quite forgotten. And forgetting those things was actually bad for me because I felt like I had been going through my days feeling nothing - completely numb.

Well, some of you may have guessed but the thoughts are about my dad. I miss him a lot. There's a reason my bio-clock is a mess - I want to sleep when I'm extra tired so I won't have dreams. Cause my dreams are mostly about him, and when I have those dreams I really, really wish I won't wake up. Then I woke up and felt miserable for the rest of the day.

I usually delete this kind of entry and start over from scratch but not today. This entry is special because it's my last entry here. ...Or not, but that's totally up to me because I can change my mind anytime.

I need to tidy up my room, write a fiction for a short-story competition, go shopping (need some sort of versatile converse-like shoes), and go through a really nice diet so I can get healthier.

The thing is, I have a love-hate relationship with sleeping. I'd like not to need it that much, but the fact is I need approximately 10 hours of sleep everyday to keep my hyped up and productive for the rest of the day. Why can't I have 5 hours instead? If I sleep now, I'll wake up feeling refreshed at whopping four p.m. It's crazy!

Sorry that I'm diverting again. But anyway. Last post. Yeah.

It's been fun. :)


PS. NOT THE LAST ENTRY! I'll post about my new blog and its address, definitely!

*Waves goodbye*

... Still not publishing this post.

....... Seriously considering clicking the button 'save now' instead of 'publish post'.

For once, I don't want to be burdened with the thought of not posting anything. I'll start anew with my new blog some time in the future. For now, I just want to enjoy the present without worrying whether I'll forget it by posting some events here as a reminder and my personal diary. :))

1 comment:

BakeLikeAPro said...

Gee, not even one comment :-( I used to use blogger quite a bit, but it seems it is now dead. Everyone is using Wordpress.